I'm busy. You’re busy. We're all racing against the clock nowadays with careers, kids, home, and life.
Earlier this year, I made a conscious effort to cut relationships from my life that sucked the energy out of me. The ones I hung onto for far too long, and they really weren't worth my time anymore. By nature I'm a loyal person. I'm honest to a fault, and I give people the benefit of the doubt even when they have seriously hurt me in the past.
But at a certain point, you need to weigh up the value someone brings to your life versus the effort you put in. And sometimes, they're simply not worth your time.
Here are 7 toxic people you need to cut from your life if you ever want peace and space:
We've all known them. They're the ones who happily tear other people down with bitching and nastiness, and shroud it as venting or frustration.
Call it for what it is - malicious and nasty. It feels gross and mean-spirited, and believe me, if someone is gossiping to you, they're also gossiping about you.
Cut your losses with these trolls as you’ve got better things to do with your time.
The person who is always complaining about how busy they are / sick / kids sick / cat sick / hard done by. These people will make you feel like they're doing you the biggest favour by just by hanging out. YOU should be uber grateful that they made the time for you in their super important life.
If you are feeling like this, and you’re constantly feeling indebted to someone, move on.
THE DEBBIE DOWNER
Usually shows signs of being a martyr, the Debbie Downer is always, well, down.
Their life / work / partner etc is the worst ever and much worse than anyone else on the planet. There's ALWAYS a problem. Their sighing and woe is me attitude makes you feel dragged down by doom and gloom, so cut your losses.
Fill your extra time spent with a new friend who'll have a wine, a laugh and make you feel great about yourself.
Oh boy, I used to have one of these for a friend. She was always asking me to watch her baby so she could do "errands", even though I worked full time and she was not working at all. I'd say "sure", then she'd turn up an hour late to drop the baby off, spend 30 minutes telling me all about her shitty life with a working husband (see above, the Martyr) and barely mutter a thank you when she returned.
This friend has a tendency to expect a lot from you. They will eventually suck the patience out of you so let this one go.
THE ANYTHING YOU CAN DO
This person has been there and done that. And been the BEST at it.
You share a great pub you went to on the weekend, they've been somewhere better. You talk about your daughter winning a merit award at school, HER daughter won a trophy.
This friendship feels like a competition and will become exhausting so plan your exit strategy sooner rather than later.
THE GAS LIGHTER
One of the most toxic, up there with the gossip, the gas lighter will make you feel crazy. They're the ones who tell people things you did, that you know you never did, but then you question yourself that maybe you forgot you did it. Get me?
They actually make you stop in your tracks and attempt to recall conversations and events, just to reassure yourself you're not mentally screwed. Often camouflaged as a partner or family member, the gas lighter is dangerous and will eventually make you question your sanity.
Dump them fast.
THE GUILT TRIPPER
Ah yes, the person who makes you feel guilty for your life. They'll make you feel shit about most things, from a new sweater "OMG there are starving cats in the world and you just bought new clothes?!" to nailing a new client "Oh well, if working and being exhausted all the time makes you happy then sure you should do it". WTF?!
These people don't know the meaning of being supportive or lifting others up. It's all about them.